“Oh, have I got your attention now?”
September 26, 2012 § Leave a comment
This month marks the twentieth anniversary of the premier of the film, Glengarry Glen Ross. The screenplay was by David Mamet which he adapted from his script for the play of the same name.
Early on, there’s a scene – especially written for the film – where Alec Baldwin plays a star rep called Blake. He’s talking to the beleaguered sales team at the centre of the action.
Blake – Alec Baldwin
Shelley Levene – Jack Lemmon
George Aaronow – Alan Arkin
Dave Moss – Ed Harris
John Williamson – Kevin Spacey
Ricky Roma – Al Pacio, but absent from this scene
Blake: It is 7:30…
Aaronow: So who is that?
Blake: And where is Mr Roma?
Moss: Well I’m not a leash, so I don’t know, do I?
Blake: Let me have your attention for a moment. So you’re talking about what? You’re talking about… bitching about that sale you shot… some son of a bitch don’t want to buy land… somebody that don’t want what you’re selling… some broad you’re trying to screw, and so forth. Let’s talk about something important. Are they all here?
Williamson: All but one.
Blake: Well, I’m going anyway. Let’s talk about something important. (Looks at Levene.) Put that coffee down. Coffee’s for closers only.
Levene: Chuckles
Blake: Do you think I’m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I’m here from downtown. I’m here from Mitch and Murray. And I’m here on a mission of mercy. Your name’s Levene?
Levene: Yeah.
Blake: You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch?
Moss: I don’t gotta listen to this shit.
Blake: You certainly don’t pal… ‘cause the good news is you’re fired. The bad news is… you’ve got… all you’ve got… just one week to regain your jobs, starting with tonight. Starting with tonight’s sit. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good… ‘cause we’re adding a little something to this month’s sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize… a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got leads. Mitch and Murray paid good money. Get their names to sell them… you can’t close the leads you’re given… you can’t close shit… you are shit. Hit the bricks pal and beat it ‘cause you are going out.
Levene: The leads are weak.
Blake: The leads are weak? Fucking leads are weak? You’re weak. I’ve been in this business fifteen years.
Moss: What’s your name?
Blake: Fuck you. That’s my name. You know why, mister? ‘Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight… I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. That’s my name. And you’re name is you’re wanting. And you can’t play in a man’s game. You can’t close them. And go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life. Get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me, you fucking faggots?
[Blake flips over a blackboard to reveal two time-worn sales axioms…]
Blake: A-B-C. A always. B be. C closing. Always be closing. Always… be closing. A-I-D-A. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention… do I have your attention? Interest… are you interested? I know you are because it’s fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks. Decision… have you made your decision for Christ? And action. A-I-D-A… get out there. You got the prospects coming in… you think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don’t walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. Sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?
Moss: Incredible…
Blake: What’s the problem pal… you, Moss?
Moss: You’re such a hero… you’re so rich. How come you coming down here waste your time on a bunch of bums?
Blake: You see this watch? (Takes off his gold watch) You see this watch?
Moss: Yeah.
Blake: That watch cost more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that’s who I am. And you’re nothing. Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father? Fuck you. Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here? Close. (To Aaronow) You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse you cocksucker? You can’t take this. How can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don’t like it… leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you got… make myself fifteen thousand dollars. Tonight. In two hours. Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise… A-I-D-A. Get mad, you son of a bitches. Get mad. You know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes brass balls to sell real estate. Go and do likewise gents. The money’s out there. You pick it up… it’s yours. You don’t… I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close… close… it’s yours. If not, you’re going to be shining my shoes. And you know what you’ll be saying? Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. Oh yeah, I used to be a salesman. It’s a tough racket. (Holding a stack of index cards) These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you, they’re gold. And you don’t get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. (Passes the cards to Williamson.) They’re for closers. I’d wish you good luck, but you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, pal… why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to… they asked me for a favour. I said, the real favour… follow my advice and fire your fucking ass, because a loser is a loser.
Whiffle Piffle
July 20, 2012 § Leave a comment
Selling door-to-door has always had a tricky reputation. Back in 1937, Bettie Boop made the mistake of letting Whiffle Piffle try to sell her woollen hammers, rubber nails, a sieve that never leaks, and brand new antiques.
90
May 11, 2012 § Leave a comment
Ninety years ago this month, the father of contemporary selling died. John Henry Patterson was 77.
The day after his death, a letter arrived at the offices of System ‘The Magazine of Business’. Patterson had written this letter two days beforehand. It confirmed that he wanted to go ahead with his autobiography, to be written in collaboration with Samuel Crowther. Crowther and Patterson had already had several talks during which Patterson had outlined much of what would go into a series of articles. Apart from the articles in System [starting with Volume 42, Issue Number 5, in November 1922], Crowther published his book ‘John H. Patterson: Pioneer in Industrial Welfare’ just one year later.
Fuller Brush: Chapter 11
February 23, 2012 § Leave a comment
Yesterday, the Fuller Brush Company announced that it had filed protection from its creditors under Chapter 11 of the US Bankruptcy Code.
According to the WSJ, the company has 180 full time employees, and around 10,000 independent salespeople.
Fuller Brush was founded in 1906, and at one time was the epitome of door-to-door sales practice.
The Ben Franklin Close
January 29, 2012 § Leave a comment
What follows is a copy of a letter written by Benjamin Franklin to Joseph Priestly [the man usually credited with the discovery of oxygen]. Priestly was trying to decide whether to accept a new position or not and had sought Franklin’s advice. The letter is dated 19th September 1772.
In affairs of such importance to you, wherein you ask my advice, I cannot, for want of sufficient premises, counsel you what to determine; but, if you please, I will tell you how.
When these difficult cases occur, they are difficult chiefly because while we have them under consideration, all the reasons – pros and cons – are not present to the mind at the same time. Hence the various purposes or inclinations that alternatively prevail, and the uncertainty that perplexes us.
To get this over, my way is to half a sheet of paper by a line, into two columns; writing over the one ‘pro’ and over the other ‘con’. Then, during three or four days’ consideration, I put down under the different heads, short hints of the different motives that at different times occur to me for or against the measure.
When I have got these together in one view, I endeavour to estimate their respective weights, and, where I find two (one on each side) that seem equal, I strike them both out. If I find a reason ‘pro’ equals to some two reasons ‘con’, I strike out the three. If I judge some two reasons ‘con’ equal to some three reasons ‘pro’, I strike out the five; and thus proceeding, I find, at length, where the balance lies; and if, after a day or two of further consideration, nothing new that is of importance occurs on either side, I come to a determination accordingly.
And, although the weight of reasons cannot be taken with algebraic quantities, yet, when each is thus considered separately and comparatively, and the whole lies before me, I think I can judge better, and am less liable to make a rash step; in fact, I have found great advantage from this kind of equation in what may be called moral or prudential algebra.
Wishing sincerely that you may determine for the best, I am ever, my dear friend,
Yours most affectionately,
Benjamin Franklin
Note: While there are many places where this letter can be found, this version comes from ‘Benjamin Franklin and Prudential Algebra’, an article by W L Etter in Decision Sciences published in 1974, Volume 5(1).
Elbert Hubbard: Buyer
December 30, 2011 § Leave a comment
Not long ago I called on a great corporation president, who is also the president of a great corporation.
“You are a student of human nature,” he said, “the pergola of pelludicity, and I want to show you a curiosity.” He pressed a button, and in about a minute a man entered. This man was past middle life; tall, spare, wrinkled, intelligent, cold, passive, non-committal, with eyes like a codfish.
The president introduced us.
I was offered a cold, clammy mitt.
There was no smile of recognition, no attempt to thaw the social ice.
He was as cool, calm and damnably composed as a concrete post or a plaster-of-paris cat.
I tried a pleasantry, but it fell flat.
“What can I do for you?” asked the human petrifaction.
Just then, I glanced at the president, and I saw he was laughing behind a newspaper. He came to my rescue and excused the cold storage.
When the man had gone, he asked, “What do you think of him?”
“Well, he is not exactly effusive,” I answered.
“Why should he be? He is a buyer. Been here forty years, and has worked at the one job until he has lost his soul. His brain is a mass of mathematics, and his heart is feldspar. A buyer never cultivates courtesy. Charm of manner doesn’t count. Salesmen are decent, but buyers don’t have to be.”
“Buyers are inhuman, without bowels, passions or sense of humour. Happily they never reproduce. They are minus the friendly germ.”
“There is no promotion for an exclusive buyer. He gets where he is and stays there. This man, though, is valuable, but if he went on the road to sell goods he would divert trade from the house to our competitors. We couldn’t do without him – but all buyers go to hell.”
And I took his word for it.
And the moral seems to be that if you would preserve your brain balance and not devolve into a measly malamute you must do more than one thing.
Note #1: It’s not clear when this piece was first published. This version comes from Modern Business: Elbert Hubbard’s Selected Writings #8 published some few years after Hubbard’s death. Hubbard was on board the RMS Lusitania when it was torpedoed by a German U-boat in 1915. Over 1,000 passengers and crew died, including Elbert Hubbard and his wife, Alice.
Note #2: Sometimes, versions of this piece can be found with the word Buyer replaced with the word Auditor.
Sales Compendium 